A Love Letter To Anchors

An anchor is a device, normally made of metal, used to connect a vessel to the bed of a body of water to prevent the craft from drifting due to wind or current. The word derives from Latin ancora, which itself comes from the Greek ἄγκυρα. Anchors can either be temporary or permanent. 

This is the one given to me before I passed it on.

I recently spent two at least months trying to articulate in writing what anchors mean to me. It’s not easy to explain on paper when it only makes sense in your head. They are so significant to me that I had one tattooed on my body.

in September of 1992, during a quick, in-between-boats trek out to Monhegan to find a suit and some legal papers for my father’s wake, our neighbor created space for us for a cup of tea and before we departed, pressed a palm-sized bronze anchor into my hand. She said something eloquent and kind about islands, oceans, and boats. Anchors connect these things.

I know my father died on his boat. In spirit, he truly did. The facts document he died the next evening in a hospital bed. But details.

I kept that anchor within eyesight for over 26 years – hung on a string in whatever place I was calling home at the time. Then I did something I never expected I would ever do. I passed it on to a childhood friend, whose own father passed away, in hopes that it would bring him as much comfort as it had for me. Honesty, I regret letting it go – I did not realize how much its presence had meant to me.

I have spent months, years, reflecting on loss. It is happening all around me. And around you, too.. I am reminded once again of anchors, islands, boats, but more than ever – being anchored to a place, forever connected to a home that holds so much meaning. How memories will forever be anchored to a sense of place. To a loved one.

I can never replicate the anchor that was given to the 18-year-old me. Or the powerful words of the beautiful woman who gave it to me. And I know anchors do not symbolize the same thing for everyone, but for me, they will always represent a force that keeps something so heavy and significant, grounded and near. And safe.

My hope is this - for everyone who is experiencing a loss or transition that requires deep strength and fortitude - recent or otherwise - try finding meaning and comfort in the anchor, whatever that may be to you.