Creativity Reigns
I have been reflecting on her memorial service and there is nothing more I could add that wasn't already spoken so eloquently by those who knew her best. But I can say this: Nelson came into my life at a tumultuous time. I was going through a divorce, I wasn't sure what would happen to the house, and I was desperately trying to leave a toxic work environment. I had very little in savings but took a chance and invested in her business consulting services. I credit her for shifting old patterns and changing the course of my life with her special brand of compassionate and thoughtful, but firm, guidance.
I am a slow processor. Her wisdom has taken years to soak in but in some ways this is what keeps her gifts with me always. I still carry around the original notebook I took notes in during our work together. Battered and stained from too many spilled jars of tea, it contains a scattering of truncated thoughts and reminders.
Owner vs Victim. Know the difference.
There is beauty in sharing creativity. If you dare.
Be honest about motivation.
What is autonomy and freedom worth? Be honest.
But there is more to the story. I was always self conscious that I was not becoming the person she said I could be. She saw something in me I could not see - a leader, a voice, an independent woman who had started to create a sustainable business that I could continue to grow. She saw that possibility for me. But I could not get to there and in my core I felt this was not my path. Was I being an owner or a victim? Was I “shoulding” all over myself? I truly thought I had let her down because I was not strong or bold enough to rise above barely-breathing-flailing level.
Had I failed her?
I had not. I know this now. Those notes - the words and thoughts I jotted down during our conversations resonated with me and tell it like it really was: She saw me. Her gentle way of challenging were laser-focused and intentional - if you can’t be confined in this way of living then be courageous enough to be seen and ask yourself the harder questions, ask what your freedom is worth. Are you bold enough to create and brave enough to share? If you answer in honesty your path is clear and rich with rewards of a deeper kind.
Creativity reigns.
Shine on, Nelson.